How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
DoS Jokes
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?
Because physically challenged gay men do it best! π π ππ π π πͺ πͺ π₯° π π π π π π β€οΈ π β£οΈ π π
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! π
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
