DoS jokes
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
Memes
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why is it ok to punch an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father’s or Mother’s Day.