What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
DoS Jokes
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: Because they come back, unlike their parents.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
