Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
DoS Jokes
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
Teacher: Why do people snore?
Me: Because they sleep.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
