DoS jokes
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
Memes
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why is it ok to punch an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.