DoS jokes
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
Memes
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!