DoS jokes

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

Why is it ok to punch an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.

What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Alone time.

I specialize in jokes about orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why do orphans have no bruises?

Because they have no dad to beat them.

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!

What do Jesus and a painting have in common?

They hang by nails.

What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?

Michelin.

What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.

Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.

How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have a Mother’s and Father’s Day.

GF: What do you think of our love?

BF: Count the stars in the sky.

GF: Aww... It's infinity!

BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.