DoS jokes
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Memes
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
What do you call an orphan's family picture? A self-portrait.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?