DoS jokes
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Memes
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.