DoS jokes
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Memes
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
What do you call a crippled terrorist?
An RC-XD.
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.