DoS jokes

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.

What did I do with the internet?

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

What type of phones do orphans have?

IPhone XR—it has no home button.

Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?

H: It's similar to shoes.

A: White Vans.

If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?

Why do potatoes make good detectives?

Because they keep their eyes peeled!

How do you make an apple turnover?

You push it down a hill.

Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?

To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.

What type of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-toed.

What do you say when a person trips?

You say, "Why you trippin'?"

How do mountains get big?

They go trick-or-treating!

Why do orphans use iPhone X's?

Because they can't find home.

Why do orphans have an iPhone X?

Because there is no home button.

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop!

Knock knock.

Who's there? Discord server.

Discord server who?

This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.

Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.

What do you get if you eat sugar?

High.

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!