DoS jokes
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
Memes
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
Do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"