DoS jokes
What do you call a turkey when it is scared?
A chicken.
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
Memes
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Why do poor people eat insects?
Because they're locust!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.