DoS jokes
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Memes
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.