DoS jokes
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
How do you kill Hellen Keller?
Take her on a walk off a cliff.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
Memes
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.