DoS jokes
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Memes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
They actually come back.
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.