DoS jokes
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Memes
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
Where do fishes keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
How do u make a sausage roll?
Push it down the hill.🍆
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.