DoS jokes
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
Memes
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
What do cows call money?
Moola.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!