DoS jokes
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
Memes
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
What do you call a group of emo kids?
The suicide squad.
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.