DoS jokes
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
Memes
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad never came home with the milk.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?