DoS jokes
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Memes
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
What do you call a group of emo kids?
The suicide squad.
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.