DoS jokes
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Memes
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
What milk do orphan babies drink?
Not their mom's, though.
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.