DoS jokes

Why do orphans go to prison?

Because that's their only home.

Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?

Orphan: ...

Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.

Teacher and kid.

Kid: Hey, teacher.

Teacher: Yes?

Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!

What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.

Why do women like Pac-Man so much?

How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

Mother: Do you understand?

Leo: No.

Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

A: Alien vs. Predator.

What do you call meat in an oven?

Africa.

How do you bury a prostitute?

In a Y-shaped coffin.

What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?

The Joker.

How do you make a lesbian upset?

Give her a multiplication test.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?

Cremation.

What do you call a tent for lesbians?

Finger Hut.

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."

When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."

Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"

Son:...... um

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O