They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
DoS Jokes
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck?
Incest.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
How do you make an Indian explode?
You press the red dot.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
