DoS jokes
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
Why do trans women go by she/her?
Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.
Memes
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his ass.
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
What music do depressed people listen to?
"I Believe I Can Fly."
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despresso.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.