DoS jokes
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
Memes
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Why do lions š¦ go to SUBWAY š„Ŗ?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, Iām trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.