DoS jokes
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
Memes
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).