DoS jokes
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
Memes
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk! 😂🤣
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.