DoS jokes
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Memes
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.