DoS Jokes

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

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Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? 🤪 😜

He scares me

The image shows a man painting on a canvas. The image contains four panels. The first panel shows him painting. There is text on top that says, "First, let's add some screams of unbearable confusion in the unpainted areas of the canvas." The second panel shows him looking closely at the canvas. The third panel shows him adding more paint and the text says, "How about it? Do you feel the terror?" The fourth panel shows him painting again and the text says, "Let's add some sorrow-filled screams now." At the very bottom of the image, there is text that says, "I just found anti-Bob Ross."

Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.

why do orphans go to church?

because they can finally call someone "father."

What did the sea do when it saw the beach?

It waved!

What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?

They can both do dirty things.

What do you do when a baby starts to cry?

You use more lube.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"

The boy said, "No, I don't know."

She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"

The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"

She said to him, "No, who is she?"

He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."

The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.

What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.

What do oranges sweat?

Orange juice. 😂🍊❤️

Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents

What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?

Beef strokin' off.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?