DoS jokes
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why do people love camping?
Because it's in tents!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Memes
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.