DoS jokes
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Memes
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. ππ€£
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But donβt worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: πβ₯οΈπͺ
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.