DoS jokes
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Memes
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.