DoS jokes
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
How do angels 😇 make holy water 💧?
They boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
Memes
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁