DoS jokes
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Memes
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.