Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
DoS Jokes
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn mooer.
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?
gay now, heterosexual later.
what do you call an autistic police officer? special forces
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
