DoS jokes
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Memes
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What do you call a person who cares for chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But donβt worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: πβ₯οΈπͺ
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.