DoS jokes
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Memes
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
How do angels 😇 make holy water 💧?
They boil the hell out of it.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)