DoS jokes

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can watch the expression on their face.

What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?

Freeze.

What do you call 2 spies fucking?

Undercover.

What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...

What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!

Q: How do you make a door cry?

A: Twist its knob.

What do you call a black person in a dark room?

Invisible.

What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?

She gagged and took it like a champ.

Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?

A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?

What do you call a white duck?

A quacker.

How do you punish a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Where do alien cows come from?

- The Milky Way.

What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.