DoS jokes

Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!

Mom: Exactly.

What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?

They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.

What do you call a letter using the bathroom?

The P.

A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.

The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."

The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?

Bisexual.

How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.

What do cows listen to on headphones?

moo-sic.

What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?

A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."

What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot wheels.

What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.

What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.

What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.

🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them

What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!