DoS jokes
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Memes
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."