Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
DoS Jokes
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
