DoS jokes
How do mountains see? They peek.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
Memes
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.