DoS jokes
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
What do orphans call family pictures?
A selfie.
Memes
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
What movie do orphans relate to? Home Alone.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.