DoS jokes
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
So if you are bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
Memes
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Q: Why do orphans love playing tennis?
A: Because the ball comes back.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?
Arrrrrr-ceus!
What show do orphans hate?
Family Guy.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
How do mountains see? They peek.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!