DoS jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
Why do midgets work at Tesco?
Because every little helps.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Memes
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Why do orphans always have water with their cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk!
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.