DoS jokes
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
When do astronauts eat lunch?
At launch time.
Memes
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
What do you call a boy Panera Bread?
Panera Balls.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.