Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
DoS Jokes
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
