DoS jokes
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
Memes
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
When do astronauts eat lunch?
At launch time.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?