DoS jokes
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
Why do orphans use water for their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Memes
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."
The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every scene has a cast!
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
What do planets read?
Comet books.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."