DoS jokes

Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there, the doctor asks him, "Do you have cancer?" Pinocchio replies, "That was very straight up, but no, I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer." After saying this, his nose grew.

What do you call a German man who can't see?

A not see.

What do you call someone smart and dead?

Stephen Hawking...

Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?

You pick it up off the street.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

The suicide squad.

What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?

Down Quijote.

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.

An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.

"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.

"I'm going down to give blood."

"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"

"About $30."

"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."

The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.

"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"

"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.

Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?

A: Right where you left 'em.

What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.

Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.

If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?

What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?

Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?

When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.

How do Asians name their kids?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.