So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
DoS Jokes
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
