DoS jokes
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
What do ghosts put on their bagels π₯―?
Scream cheese.
What do ghosts put on their bagels π₯―?
Scream Cheese π±.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokinβ off!
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
Memes
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
Why do bisexual men π¨ π© π¨ love gay men bisexual men don't love gay men π¬ π¨ π¨ they just wanted to suck gay men's π¬ cocks π π because they π π like their π¨ π¨ π¦ π¦ cream filling π βΊ π π π€ π π βΊ π π π€ π π βΊ
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing.
A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking!
Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.