DoS jokes
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
Memes
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream Cheese 😱.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
Why do bisexual men 👨 👩 👨 love gay men bisexual men don't love gay men 👬 👨 👨 they just wanted to suck gay men's 👬 cocks 🌭 🌭 because they 👍 👍 like their 🍨 🍨 🍦 🍦 cream filling 😋 ☺ 💕 💖 🤗 😊 😋 ☺ 💕 💖 🤗 😊 😋 ☺
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.