DoS jokes
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Memes
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.