DoS jokes
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
Memes
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What do you call a family picture for an orphan?
A selfie.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.