Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
DoS Jokes
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
