DoS jokes
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Memes
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
Why do Chinese people hate Christmas? Because they make the toys.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N