DoS jokes
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
Memes
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
Why can't orphans go to Home Depot?
Because they do not have a home!
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!