How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
DoS Jokes
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
Why can't orphans go to Home Depot?
Because they do not have a home!
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
