DoS jokes
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Memes
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
Why do orphans drink water with cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.