DoS jokes
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
Memes
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀