DoS jokes
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Memes
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
Why do orphans play GTA? Cause they wanna feel wanted.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"