Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
DoS Jokes
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
Why do orphans play GTA? Cause they wanna feel wanted.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
