DoS jokes
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
Memes
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no balls to do it.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.