DoS jokes
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
Memes
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no balls to do it.
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.