DoS jokes
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?
A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
Memes
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull dozer.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.